Lately I feel like the universe is playing a trick on me, or at the very least having a very good laugh at my expense. When going to the various medical appointments like the chemo, physical therapy, aquatic therapy, I feel like I’ve been to all these places before. I guess I have! I find it ironic to think about my career and work in the healthcare system, having worked in medical imaging, a pain clinic and at a home medical store. Now I am on the other side of that experience. I still haven’t decided how I feel about that. I guess it is what it is.
February marks my 13th month of treatment and I have been doing physical therapy and aquatic therapy since October. Oh and let’s not forget the home exercise program which now takes an hour! Physical therapy and aquatic therapy are finally starting to pay off, after five months. I can tell I’m getting stronger and when I do have a good day I seem to have more endurance or stamina that I had before when my body deconditioned.
I am pleased to report that my positive results continue. The CAT scan done two weeks ago revealed that the tumors on the liver continue to shrink! There were a total of three tumors that were being monitored and we are now down to two tumors! In the very beginning, 13 months ago, these tumors were measured in centimeters and are now being measured in millimeters. Yay!!! This positive news gives me a little nudge down the path, keeping me going. The next scan will be in the middle of May. That feels like a long long time away! Also, the whole body bone scan confirmed that there has not been any metastasis to the bones. Double yay! I will stay the course. Next bone scan will be August. Monitoring my heart with the echocardiogram will continue on the every 12 week cycle. So far so good with my dear heart but I am keeping an eye on that ejection fraction number.
Shall we talk about the fatigue? Just thinking about it makes me tired. Seriously. I’m noticing that the fatigue is getting to be more and more unpredictable. For instance, sometimes following treatment it will take me about three days to feel like I am bouncing back. The last treatment two weeks ago took about 10 days out of me, and I was extremely fatigued and did not have much energy at all. Monday this week I did a lot and yesterday I was slightly tired but today I feel like I could just fall over from fatigue. So no, I didn’t take that walk today even though it was 40° out! Perhaps tomorrow the walk will happen.
I have been doing a writing workshop through the loft.org and I am really enjoying it! I’m getting a lot of ideas and ways to start the writing process and feel myself falling into the tunnel of where this is going to take me ( of which I do not know ).
Honestly I cannot believe that it’s been 13 months! The time has flown by. The appointments and workshops keep me busy, along with phone calls with friends and family. I have another year on the trial that I am on, which means that chemo every three weeks continues for the next year. UGG. I can’t think about it, I can only take it day by day. January was hard. I’m not gonna lie. That one year mark was supposed to be joyful, or at least that’s what I thought it would be. It was not joyful but when February 1st came around I felt better. I’m noticing this interesting psychology around the changing of the month. After all, time is a construct that we humans have created.
I want to share some of my writing but wanted to get this update out there first. Please stay safe, hang in there, get vaccinated when it’s your turn. Wear a mask. The world needs you on the other side of this thing. I plan to be there. Hope you are well!
Blessings to you and yours,